Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Holy shit dude........stairs
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
