there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
