It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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