what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
