I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
