You made me cry and you don't even care
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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