so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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