Kiss
Puke
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
