He is an equal opportunity slut.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
