Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize