which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
