I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
