You work out of a Hotel?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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