i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
