Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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