Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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