yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
