I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize