i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
