You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
