Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
