i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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