SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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