I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
