we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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