forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
