My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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