It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
and you fell through a lawn chair
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
