Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
