dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
