my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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