I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
