My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
