she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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