shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
