is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize