I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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