then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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