how can u be prego again
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
