We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
