In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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