that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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