in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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