Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize