Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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