Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just want to make out with him forever
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
