The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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