He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
