She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
