1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
