i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
