Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
