ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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