The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you win again, gameday.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
