He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize