did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize