She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
