So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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