I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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