i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
