My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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