Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
